A Big Scare
I had a big
scare the other night. I had a dream, or
actually a nightmare. I was wandering
around the city looking for my mom’s apartment.
My mom has not been with us for years, she never had an apartment. A stranger sidetracked me somehow and had me
head off in the wrong direction.
I was
aimlessly walking around in an area of town I did not know. I asked a stranger for directions. The stranger ignored me, then another
stranger ignored me. Finally, a friendly
stranger, a black man as I recall for some reason, directed me to the subway and pointed to the
train I should take.
At this
point I had forgotten where I wanted to go.
I was completely lost and just stumbling around. I had a cell phone to call my son, but did
not remember his number, I wasn’t even sure of his name.
Then I
awoke.
Crap! So that is what it is like to have
dementia. Wandering around knowing you
should know where to go, what to do, or who to call, but not knowing or
remembering anything. Dependent on the
kindness of strangers when most strangers do not have the time to be kind.
As we get
older, I think we all worry about dementia.
We don’t remember names of entertainers that we just saw. We forget where we put something or even what
we are looking for. You have a word in
your head to describe something, but you cannot find it right away. Truth is, many of these things have always
happened to me, these days they just worry me more.
The dream
was scary. Losing one’s memory is scary.
On the plus
side, I never remember dreams. As soon
as I wake up I forget what I was dreaming about. This dream I remember vividly.
So, there’s
that.
Interesting site for us
old people concerned about this subject:
My mom had dementia when she died and I am totally obsessed with the signs. Every time I forget someone's name or a place or any one of the things you mentioned I panic a little, okay, a lot, inside. My lit'l sis and I check in with each others mental health regularly just in case we see the signs of dementia in each other. It is super scary and heartbreaking to think about.. Great post, Joe.
ReplyDeleteI go through that stuff all the time now. My doctor assures me that my memory loss is from lack of oxygen due to my emphysema. I don't see a whole lot of difference, if I can't remember - whatever the reason. I've noticed that it's getting steadily worse and it bothers me plenty. Yes, indeedy, scary as hell!
ReplyDeleteHubby and me always talked about whether we would want to be physically incapacitated and mentally sharp or mentally incapacitated and physically sharp. We both agreed we would rather have the mental capacities. We saw that played out in our moms. My mom was mentally sharp until her last 6 weeks of life, but had physical problems. Hubby's mom had dementia from Parkinson disease, but was better off physically. It was always a struggle to relate to her where she was at with her cognitive function.
ReplyDeleteI heard it said that as we age it is likely we will forget things, but that's the normal aging process. However, if we forget for instance what a stove is used for, then we are bordering on dementia. I hate it when I can see the word in my head but can't get my lips to speak it. I just hope if I do end up having dementia I am what one doctor dictated about his patient years ago "pleasantly confused" as opposed to being hostile, aggressive, etc.
betty
If you can't remember where the car keys are, it's normal forgetfulness of aging. If you can't remember what the car keys are used for, that's trouble.
ReplyDeleteIt is a scary thought, but I've heard if your parents or grandparents didn't have dementia, then you have a good chance of not getting it either. I've also heard that keeping the mind active helps, which is why I do word puzzles all the time.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those forgetful moments, but that doesn't mean true dementia is around the corner waiting for us.
I do about half a dozen various puzzles a day for brain exercise. I'm 83 & OK so far!!
DeleteI've worked with people who were at the beginning stages of dementia, and saw the gradual changes and frustration on their parts. Some become downright aggressive, and I know that's based on fear. To be fiercely independent to get around on your own, only to have that change due to illness is so sad to me. Hugs...RO
ReplyDeleteI try to laugh it off when I can't remember something, which happens a lot. I reprimand myself but at the same time laugh at the way I'm going. At the present time I am coping, heaven knows what comes next!
ReplyDeleteI hovered over the link but then decided I don't really want to know. Right now I comfort myself with the fact that forgetfulness has always been a characteristic of mine so it's just not about being senile. That's my story and I'm sticking with it for as long as I can remember to.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad and my MIL both have dementia. It's been hard to watch and deal with.
ReplyDeleteI was having a conversation with my parents last week and none of us could remember Al Pacino's name. It was frsutrating. They're in their mid-70s, but I'm not. It concerns me sometimes, but the march of time goes on.
ReplyDeleteAs Betty said, forgetfulness to a point is just part of aging. I find myself doing it now and then, but it isn't to the point I'm worried about it. Still, it's always possible, and I'm hoping my mind, body, and bank account will all go kaput at about the same time. No worries. :)
ReplyDeleteWe watched Cindy's mom go through her final years with dementia, this is a cruel condition to say the least, now my Dad has been diagnosed with it and I can tell just by talking to him on the phone that it is advancing rapidly.
ReplyDeleteIt's a sad thing to watch and scary as hell to consider that we may eventually be in the same boat.
We've got front-row seats to the mother-in-law's dementia and it's sobering. And taxing. And sad. But on the bright side, she's got some AWESOME prescriptions that put her in a mostly happy-go-lucky attitude as opposed to her former grouchiness so there's that. And she remembers conversations from decades ago that she re-lives nearly every evening, chatting and laughing and just enjoying re-living those moments. Sure wish we could hear the other side of the conversation, though!! There's not even a transcript to help us follow ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlso on the plus side, I'm now reading books I bought and read years ago, and don't remember any of the plots! So think of the money I'm saving on books. . .We're in the boat together, Joe.
ReplyDeleteWe do all worry about it...a lot....all the time. You are certainly not alone there.
ReplyDeleteWow, that dream of yours is scary. Yeah, I worry too. And also usually forget my dreams, but I don't have very vivid dreams; they're quite boring, as though my subconscious is trying to put me back to sleep. In one such dream, I was sitting through a speech by Dwight Eisenhower. Really really dull.
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent comment from Messymimi. I worry about not being able to remember things, a descriptive word, the title of a book I have just read or a person’s name that I have only just been introduced to.
ReplyDeleteAs you were recounting the dream, I too was thinking dementia and how it must be a lot like that.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you woke up and can join us in the so far harmless daily search for words and names.
I often have dreams where I'm trying to find a particular place and events seem to be keeping me from my goal. Mrs. Chatterbox also has similar dreams so maybe this is a common occurrence.
ReplyDeleteMaybe dreams are your brain's way of trying to work through problems while you sleep. So maybe dementia has been on your mind lately, or you've been missing your mom, or you are concerned about your son not being there for you. OR it was just a random dream. It's not like I've written a book on dream analysis or anything!
ReplyDeleteLike Val, I believe that "weird" or "intense" dreams are the brain's way of trying to work out stress that happens in your life. I always have very intense dreams of moving when I'm stressed in real life.
ReplyDeleteAside from that, yes - dementia is scary. I worry about it every time I forget someone's name. But then I remember the name a while later, and I think, "Phew...just old age."